Between chapters...

Something that never occurred to me was how hard it would be to leave Toronto.  The place that never felt like home; the place we spent three rather painful years.  As the days counted down, the reality crept in.  I started saying my goodbyes and realizing how much we had.  However limited, we had a life there.  There is plenty that I will miss.  

Still, excitement prevailed and we somehow managed to pack up and be ready for the movers.  And, a few days later, to get onto the highway in a car packed with belongings and high hopes.  We didn't look back.  We giggled and tried to wrap our heads around the finality.  Outside the warmth and safety of the car, it rained.    

Goodbye Toronto.  Goodbye new and old friends.  Goodbye smog and warmer weather.  Goodbye beautiful lake and access to everything and anything.  Goodbye freeways and too many cars and too many people and too much noise from neighbours and now-familiar streets and the safety of midwifery preceptors and studenthood.  Goodbye to our starving student selves. 

The drive was satisfying.  I had planned for a long drawn-out road trip with the intention of creating a distinct bookmark between chapters.  Instead, we ended up driving longer days and going further than necessary because that's what felt right once we got going.  It was a beautiful drive and we stopped often.

And suddenly, we arrived.

For now we are hibernating.  Trying to make sense of the changes.  Slowly it all sinks in.  Friends are trying to reach us.  My mother is feeding and taking care of us.  Our things are supposed to arrive tomorrow.  One more day, and surrounded by our things... then I think maybe we will be ready.