After my "month off" (full of an intensive in Sudbury and lots of preparation for my next placement) I'm back at it - I started my placement at the clinic where I will be for the next year. So far so good - the midwives, admin staff and other students have all been great. The clinic has recently undergone renovations and is really nice. I feel really fortunate, and have been remembering to take time to feel gratitude. It's been a gentle beginning - introduction, hospital tour, clinic visits this week, but no births. I am on call and know that "first page" could come at any time - and that's when the ball really starts rolling!
One of the things I realized recently was that one of my biggest fears of this upcoming year has been that I will go back into the unhappy sort of numb head-space I was in during my first midwifery placement and last summer. I've been feeling so happy and enjoying life so much more for the last year that I just don't want to think about heading back into that darkness. And the last week or so, I really felt how it could happen - I was getting overwhelmed and stressed, my back started hurting, I was wanting nothing more than to lay down when I get home... so I know I need to work on my energy level and staying above water. I don't want to end up with Rob "taking care of" me again - that's not the life I want to live! I do think I'm a happier person these days... so, lots of vitamin B, exercise, friends, and rest, and hopefully all will be well!
My preceptor seems really wonderful. The other day on the phone, before we'd met in person, she said: "So, you're from Winnipeg, eh? I know a song about Winnipeg." She then proceeded to sing "I loooove Winnipeggg" to the tune of "One Great City" by the Weakerthans (video posted two posts ago). It was the best thing in the world. I hated to tell her the line is actually "I HATE Winnipeg", but when I did she laughed and said "oh THAT'S right!"
I have decided to take the whole conversation as a very good sign for this upcoming year.